Relationships and connections are something we all have to learn to navigate. I’m sure more than once, when something didn’t go my way I’ve wanted to pop off at whoever I felt did me wrong (and regular readers of this space might think I have). But today I had something happen to me that made me think twice about how to best handle just such a situation.
In the process of relocating, I’ve engaged my long-time realtor to sell my home of 15 years. He is the guy who sold me this house and has helped me find rentals for me when I turned it into a rental for a few years. And he has also helped other friends buy and sell houses and find renters for their properties. He is my “go-to” guy.
Enter my long-time neighbor and friend who also happens to be a realtor. When I told him, through a text exchange, that I had listed the house with my long-time guy, the neighbor came unglued. Starting with a text exchange and then in a voice call I initiated, he unloaded on me. I had “taken advantage” of him asking for market data over the years and similar things.
Hmmm.
Should he have unloaded on me? Did he forget the other referrals I’d given him over the years? Did he also forget that we were neighbors and friends?
So I pose the question to you, dear reader: was I wrong not to list with him? And should he have unloaded on me?
My take is that he really should have maybe thought to make lemonade out of lemons and maybe offered to help my guy sell. Might he have earned part of the commission? Or was his ego and anger release more important than maintaining a connection (me and, maybe, my guy)?
Who knows. A few years back I had a car dealer refuse to take back a car within the 5-day lemon law window. I proceeded to give them zero-star reviews on Yelp, Google and other places. Within hours I received a picture of my refund check and instructions on how to return the car. Now I’m not going to eviscerate my neighbor like that (as tempting as it is). However, I will write and post this entry.
The lesson from all of this is to think before we act and to not take things personally. He can’t stuff those words back in his mouth. And, while I will no longer be his neighbor, he really doesn’t know the extent of my network.
And, for the record: my neighbor is a talented and friendly guy. Just not today.
Be cautious and kind even when it is hard.
Relentless
