“Never burn a bridge.”
“Be careful the bridge you burn you may be standing on.”
“Bridges are for crossing not burning.”
We’ve all heard these networking proverbs. And either lived by them or been the victim of them. But tell the truth, is there ever a time when it’s okay to burn a bridge?
Let’s start with just what do we mean by burning a bridge? In networking it means severing a tie to contact usually with some sort of conflict, even malice. It’s the malice part that makes torching a connection the bad thing. The act of “burning” implies that the tie or structure between the two sides is going away, usually in a rapid or angry act.
But what if you have to burn a bridge? The relationship is no longer useful to either or both parties, it’s run its course. Let’s say the party you are severing the tie with is not getting your gentle nudge of being”unfriended” on Facebook, you aren’t returning their calls or emails and being disconnected on LinkedIn isn’t being noticed. Then what?
Well, the best course of action is a direct phone call or face-to-face meeting to actually “break up.” The idea is that while the actions are necessary they need not be malicious or cruel. Like ending an interpersonal relationship, the best course is directness. However, in the case of a business relationship, you can explain it “is about business and not personal.” Honesty is the best policy.
So what are some reasons leading up to the bridge destruction?
- You haven’t had any business contact with the person for over 6 months.
- The last few interactions you’ve had have been one way without reciprocation.
- Either or both of you have moved to industries or careers or geographic areas that don’t serve either of you well enough to continue the relationship.
- You are in a competitive situation that would be detrimental to both of you. While today’s competitor is many times tomorrow’s partner or a friendly competitor relationship is okay with you or your management, you do have to consider how the relationship impacts one or both of your businesses.
These are just rules of thumb. Naturally, we really don’t advocate severing a tie and certainly not in a non-reversible way. But all options should be considered. Really, at the end of the day, you have to view the relationship and situation through a long-term lens as what is true today may not be true 1, 2 or 5 years from now.
Choose carefully.
Relentless
