You read that right: a detox from being a Texan for 20-plus years. And that’s not a negative. Transitioning from anything is hard and a detox of sorts. I would compare it to any of these:
Loss of a parent or pet.
Breakup from a serious relationship.
Job or career change or retirement.
Aging.
And it doesn’t always involve alcohol. Sometimes it involves food, a house and maybe a lifestyle.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved my time in Texas.
In my case it was about starting the next chapter of my life. As my friend, Dave Sykes, refers to it as “your third act,” or the Eastern Religions and the ”fourth quarter.” No matter how you look at it, it is where I get to take that toolbox I’ve gathered along the way over the decades and use the right tool in the right situation.
However, geography played a big role here. As did undoing habits and social networks. Twenty years’ worth.
Gone are the TexMex, White Rock Lake, Deep Ellum, The Loop Dallas, Saturn Road Church of Christ, Lakehouse, Wheels of Hope, Garland. Friends and acquaintances collected and shed over the years. Seasons and weather. Accents and speech patterns. And memories—dogs, dates, lovers, meals, places. All good things embraced in the time that they were present.
All behind me now (but not forgotten). And it took less time than I thought. Putting space and new patterns in place work wonders when it comes to transitioning.
While it was hard to give up friends and habits, it is healthier for me. Now long gone in the rear view mirror are people and groups and the reminders of love and a life opportunity lost–or redirected. The important memories and relationships are still there, but the ones which (and who) had to go were asked to go. Like many things in life, they timed out.
All it took was time and relocation. Being away from the familiar (and sometimes hurtful) made it so much easier. And I am reinforced each day that it was the right thing to do
Next up: Arizonaizing. New breweries, coffee shops and bike shops: Hello Bicycle, LeBuzz, Transit Bikes, Fire Truck and Borderlands Brewing. Plus farmer’s markets at Rillito, Udall, Rincon and St Phillips. And the walking and hiking groups.
It’s not a one-for-one but makes for a better transition that going in cold to a completely new place.
Wish me luck. I’m doing better than I imagined and sooner than I thought.
Relentless
