In recent months I’ve had some professional challenges. I was to the point of just throwing in the towel when I set up a meeting with my mentor-consultant. I felt I needed a voice of reason and his take on the situation. The conversation went something like this:
“So you are just going to throw in the towel and walk away from the situation?”
“Yes. I’ve had enough and have taken all I can.”
“Step back and take a minute to analyze this–is this really you?”
“What are you getting at?”
“Be a mensch.”
OK, so my Catholic-Latin friend throws a Yiddish term at me in fish restaurant. On a Friday no less.
He gave me several examples of situations he had been in that were similar to mine. While we might be tempted to fire the client and walk away, that does no one any good. What he suggested was to combine the two concepts of freeing oneself from the client pain and doing them the favor of transition.
In other words (the definition of a mensch), to be a good person.
Why be a good person to someone who is driving you nuts? Well, as the relentless networker it only made sense: I might be standing on the bridge I was just about to torch. Besides, I might encounter this client again in the community in which they work.
At the end of the day, don’t act out of anger. Take a page from Nelson Mandella. As the story goes, former President Bill Clinton asked the South African icon why he paused when he left prison (Mandela had stopped a few steps short of freedom on that famous day and appeared lost in thought). As he told Clinton later, he had all the anger he had in him after all the years of confinement well up in him as he was just about to step out. So he paused to let the anger dissipate–he felt if he had stepped out and taken the anger with him, he wouldn’t be the best man he could be and his adversaries would’ve triumphed over him.
Finding good in even the worst of situations is hard, but necessary. We can only control our actions. As the quote says, “Fate is what happens to you while free will is how you respond.” Let your free will make you a mensch.
Relentless
Absolutely. Been there, done that. I’ve both burned bridges — and saved them. I highly recommend the latter. 😉