So, who are you, really?
Are you the person you think you are in your own head? Or are you the person people think you are? Or are you the person that you are when you are just being yourself?
This past week I heard Kenny Rogers (the singer not the pitcher) on NPR’s Fresh Air relate how Dolly Parton told about these three personas we all have. And how Dolly was really all three in one–and all three are the same. Something, he says, he strives for.
Kenny’s thesis is a good one for us as networkers to strive for as well. While having a “business” persona is important, having it be something that is too far from the real you might make you into a caricature at some point. Putting up a front puts you in the category of being an actor and, while it works for some, it can come back to bite you. Ronald Reagan was a polished actor and projected his presidential image with care and skill, but he actually was that guy we all saw behind the seal and up on the silver screen for that matter (or so biographers and Nancy Reagan have told us).
Being the person people think you are is equally troublesome. Again, actors deal with this all of the time. They can be typecast and then choose roles that play against type. But all the while they are projecting what people think they are rather than being themselves.
As business people and networkers we are not actors. While we do have to “play” to audiences, we shouldn’t kowtow to them. Experienced people know how to be themselves within the context of their client or prospect’s need. Remember, people do business with people, they know, like and respect.
The respect part is important, especially self respect. Being yourself and projecting yourself allows you to focus on more important things and not on the role you are playing. You will also gain the respect of those that choose to do business with you and that’s really the goal here.
Being yourself, being real puts you makes you honest and approachable. And, actually attracts others like you.
Relentless
