The other day I had the opportunity to spend time with an elderly relative. The experience was humbling to say the least. But more importantly it taught me a lesson instantly.
I had to listen carefully and patiently and formulate clear responses. The experience helped me understand the importance of paying attention to the one I am talking with now.
In our quickly-moving business world, we don’t always take the time time to stop and listen (really listen) to those around us. So, here I was, on Mother’s Day weekend, sitting engaged in conversation with my wife’s octogenarian mother who just moved into assisted living. What struck me most was that I was in a situation where I had to think clearly before I spoke and had to listen to every word and action she made before I responded.
The process is a simple one, guided by your audience and your expectations. Whether it is a business associate, client or elderly relative, the process and techniques are the same:
- Make eye contact.
- Face your conversant.
- Actively listen.
Making eye contact helped her (and me) engage. While most of those we are networking with don’t have memory issues, in this day and age of multi-tasking and 24/7 information at our finger tips, perhaps we are a bit memory challenged.
The face to face part was actually easy. Turning and looking at her allowed her to focus and for me to read her face and increase my intensity in the activity.
Lastly, active listening causes you to think like an interviewer. We should read from a script in any instance. While ideas need to be ordered, you need to let things fall where they may and follow the flow of conversation.
Respect plays a big role in any situation. Don’t judge, listen. Like my mother-in-law, realize who the whole person is and was and pay attention to them now. Networking, polite conversation, family interactions all deserve our full, undivided attention.
Relentless
